Drained. (This is a whinge)

I am so drained physically and emotionally. The morning sickness is taking everything out of me, I didn't have much energy or good health to begin with but everything I had left is being drained out of me. I'm hoping I will start to feel a bit brighter soon, because I just don't think I can cope with this for the whole pregnancy! I want to feel excited and well, so I can enjoy it! 


When I speak to people about it, they are just like "oh it's just morning sickness, you'll be fine" and yes I will be fine but it is still hard, it's hard retching and vomiting every day and feeling nausea all day, it's hard not being able to hardly lift my head out of bed, and on top of that I was sick before I was pregnant, so my body isn't in optimum condition for pregnancy! So I shall whinge, and just because I whinge it doesn't mean I don't know how blessed I am to be pregnant, because dude I know how unbelievably blessed I am, but it doesn't mean I am not allowed to whine. (Okay DAD!) haha.


I am 14 weeks tomorrow, so I hope that will be the start of a turning point for me!

Week 13

Afternoon Dudes!


I went and saw the Ob yesterday and my cervix is measuring the same as it was last week (Around 2.8cm) We saw our little bubba and he was all good too :D We discussed what to do and came to the conclusion that we would take the conservative approach, wait and see and take it easy! If my cervix is shorter at my 19 week scan then he will do an emergency stitch (they prefer to do them earlier as it is a lot easier but since I went to 34 weeks last time and I wasn't even in labour then he's a bit more confident) But he has done thousands of them and said he hasn't had many complications arise from the later stitches he has done. It may be that my cervix is genetically short too, but for now it's stable so I just have to cross everything!


The other things I am doing to help this pregnancy is to take low - dose aspirin (sometimes called baby aspirin) it has been found to help reduce the risk of premature labour and to help IUGR babies (In uterine growth restricted - which Emily was). The aspirin improves blood flow to the Placenta etc. I am also going to start taking a Vit D supplement!


General Update-


I'm feeling - Crap! Morning sickness is so jerky, I eat - I feel sick. I don't eat - I feel sick. I eat too little - I feel sick. I eat too much - I feel sick, I just generally feel sick! And I'm dizzy a lot of the time and just really off balanced but that could be because of my problems previous to this pregnancy too, but it's probably made worse by being pregeroni!


Weight - I haven't put on any weight yet, I've actually lost weight :( 


Am I glowing? - No, on the contrary I look terrible!


Emily - She's doing so great, I haven't been able to look after her much at all, I am so lucky to have great Parents in Law that do such a fantastic job of taking care of her for us, we are so thankful to them! But she's been great, she understands more then I know and asked me the other day "if the baby in my tummy scares me?" She is so wise for her age and has such a caring nature, when I am feeling unwell, she sings me songs that she makes up that are freaking hilarious and gives me big cuddles and kisses and is just plain amazing!


Kev - He is the dude. He works full time, looks after Em and myself and cooks, cleans (well tries haha) and is so loving and caring! Best. Husband. Ever.


Anywho I that's about it for now, I shall sign off and talk to you all later 


x

Still Waiting.....Quick Update.

Yesterday after Kev had taken the afternoon off work and we were on our way to the Ob, they called to say he had to go in Surgery this afternoon and now can't fit me in until Monday! Annoying! 


So I promptly burst into tears out of frustration, I start crying about everything lately - like this morning I have been crying watching "7th Heaven" because they were singing "You are my Sunshine"!


Kev took Emily and I out to dinner last night, and I nearly threw up in the Restaurant *awkward* we had to leave promptly, I thought the morning sickness was getting a bit better but it seems to be getting worse again, Nooooooo.


So I'm just concentrating on resting and trying to stay positive!


x 

The First Trimester

I shall begin where I left off.....


The day after my 8 week ultrasound I booked in appointment with the Midwife at the Obstetricians Office (this time we are going private after all the shenanigans we had with the local public hospital) I really wanted just one Doctor, who knew what he was doing, and so I had consistency! 


The Midwife appt went really well, except for the part where I threw up in the carpark (urgh!) I felt really reassured by her, and got so much info about what happened in my last pregnancy.


In regards to the morning sickness; I've been suffering from quite bad ALL day sickness, it's been rough, as I have a phobia of vomiting, I know no one really enjoys it but it freaking terrifies me! But I've gotten through it so far.


I had my first appointment with the Ob at 11 weeks, and I got to see Little smunchie who was measuring well and my cervix was 3cm and closed. We discussed my last pregnancy and the complications, and organised a referral to get my nuchal scan and to get my cervix checked again.


Now this is the good and bad part! Yesterday I had my nuchal scan and got given a risk of 1 in 3000 which is great, but my cervix was 2.5cm :( but still closed thankfully!


So now I see the Ob tomorrow to discuss getting a stitch placed in my cervix, or to use progesterone pessaries for now and keep an eye on. I am absolutely terrified! It is so long from now to 24+ weeks (when the baby has at least a chance of survival) but I will take it one day at a time and hopefully get to 30+ weeks! 40 weeks would be great though Smunchie! 


I will update you tomorrow x


Recent 12 week scan pics -

The BIG surprise!

So I will start from the beginning!

With my first Daughter Emily (who is now 3) I had a very difficult pregnancy, it all went well up until around the 20 week mark until I started having bleeds, at first they thought it was a one off as my placenta was fine, my cervix was closed and Emily seemed to be okay but the bleeds continued and we found out Emily had IUGR (which is where her growth is restricted) and then we found out my cervix was shorter then it should it be! So I was transferred to a bigger hospital and I was lost in the system multiple times. I was scared senseless by remarks Doctors made (She may have Down Syndrome etc) Anyway I was in and out of Hospital until 34 weeks when I had another bleed and Emily's heart rate went down, and they couldn't leave her in any longer, so I had an emergency c-section. She had to be resuscitated and put in NICU for a few days but she was strong and was moved to Special Care quite quickly! She is now a beautiful, vibrant, intelligent, hilarious, amazing little 3 year old who inspires me every day! So there is the condensed story of my Pregnancy and Birth with Emily. I should also note that I suffered infections after my c-section and it took me quite awhile to recover.

Now fast track it to more recently; I suffer from quite severe anxiety, I have been going through testing for Multiple Sclerosis (which luckily it's unlikely I have) and it's presumed to be Chronic Fatigue. So I am very tired and weak most of the time and have troubles with dizziness and balance! So let's just say a Baby wasn't in the works, we had actually decided to only have Emily, as I didn't think my body was strong enough let alone my mind, as I still wasn't over the anxiety from my previous pregnancy.

But God had other ideas - From late March to April, I was feeling worse than usual but because I feel so tired and crap all the time I didn't take much notice, plus we had all come down with a virus so I thought since my immune system is so weak that I was just taking awhile to get over that. Then we have the issue of missing periods, I didn't really think much of it as my periods have been irregular, but after missing 2 periods and feeling so awful, I came to the conclusion that I must have ovarian cancer (of course!) Yes I am a hypochondriac (Google is evil) It didn't cross my mind that I could be pregnant for agggges. How stupid am I? But not to go into too much detail - My Hubby and I didn't have an overly active sex life due to my health and we were always really careful when we did!

Anyway one day whilst I was sitting on the couch feeling nauseous and watching "Dr Quinn Medicine Woman" I suddenly thought "Oh I have a pregnancy test in my draw, maybe I should do one just in case" Then our whole lives changed (yes I am being a bit dramatic but it's true!!) The two blue lines came up so quickly, and I was not expecting it what so ever! All I could say was "No no no no no no" and burst into tears and rang my Hubby, and he was as bewildered as I was! Then I rang my Bestie and she was like "Omg yay" and I was like "Nooooo". My next phone call was to my GP, and I was lucky that he got me an appt that day, so off I went and his test was positive too! By this time I was still in total shock but also nervous that the blood test would come back negative as a little part of me wanted this little miracle! Later that day I was able to get in for an U/S as I had convinced my self that I had a Molar Pregnancy ( no idea why, I blame my Friend Ribbons - yes even though most of you reading this will know me personally, I am still using an alias for her, incase she doesn't want me using her name haha)

Sorry I will continue on subject, I  drank litres of water, felt suitably like I was going to explode and went off to the Imaging centre - Then people, I saw it, the sac, the little teensy Baby in my tummy and the heartbeat!!! It was so surreal! AND the baby was measuring 8 weeks! Which I couldn't believe!

So that's the story of how I found out I was pregnant again!

I will be shortly doing another post about from there to now :)

Jamie x

 8 weeks U/S -